The Golden Rule is selfish?

This past weekend I heard someone say that The Golden Rule was extremely selfish.  He went on to say "Who wants to follow a rule that is all about us?  We need to treat others the way they want to be treated not the way we want to be treated".  This comment has haunted me all weekend.  Jesus and many religious leaders used the Golden Rule as the standard for living.  Do we want to treat others as we would want to be treated or treat others as they want to be treated?  Is there a difference or is it just semantics? 

Those that support The Platinum Rule state that it accommodates the feelings of others better.  Instead of giving you what I want, I will seek to understand you and give you what you want.  It seems to me that if I treat someone with the dignity and specialness that I would want then I am putting them and their needs ahead of my own.  I would assume that is the same as treating them the way they want to be treated - with dignity and specialness.

I am trying to figure out why that statement bothered me.  The Golden Rule states that I am to put others first in how I treat them.  The question I must ask is "What can I do for others before I do for myself?"  The Platinum Rule states that I treat others as they want to be treated.  The question I must ask is "What do they want out of me or what would make them feel better?"  It seems to me that The Platinum Rule could lead to giving others just what they want but what might not be good for them. Whereas The Golden Rule requires me to put my agenda aside and treat others first.

What do others think or does anyone care?

Chuck

Comments

[Daniel Rothra]

Never heard of the Platinum Rule but it seems to be a little too feelings oriented. Wasn't Jesus emphasizing responsiveness toward those who ask in Matthew 7 (Golden Rule)? It seems that we are to respond to others as we would hope and plead they would respond to us - should we find ourselves in such straits.

Is it about how they feel or what they need? Maybe they, like me, need a swift kick in the pants more than $50. Is it more loving to whap me on the head, even though I wouldn't like how it feels? Perhaps this is off topic.

I think it is about not withholding good (as defined by what would most please God) from those who ask when it is in our power to do good. Even if there is a cost associated with it.