What Matters Most

The Valley of Disappointment

The Bible states that the three greatest virtues one can pursue are faith, hope and love.  I do not think any of us would doubt the immense value of these three great virtues.  We are all looking for something to have faith in, something to give us hope and someone to love.

Unfortunately for so many forging ahead with faith, holding tight to hope and leaning hard on love feels like a waste of time. It just does not exist and they get bitter at those who offer these meaningless cliches out to them.

Weekly I am confronted with those who feel isolated and alone and no where to turn.  My heart breaks for them.  These are real people with read needs.  They:

• are dealing with loss of a loved one
• have just received an eviction notice
• have had their utilities turned off and will have to flush their toilets with buckets of water
• have just been beaten by a spouse or parent
• are depressed and having anxiety attacks
• cannot find a job
• are calling a trailer home
• are addicted to the emptiness of their only friend - a bottle or a hug

They do not need another religious pat or trite answer.  They need substance. They find themselves in the valley of disappointment and depression and have given up on the idea of faith, hope, and love.

What good are we if all we do is look at ourselves and take care of our needs?  When will those who have faith show their deeds? When will those who have hope share it with those who need it? When will those who have love show love to someone who is alone?

If you want to help those in need then respond to this or let me know.  There are so many who are waiting for faith, hope and love.

What will I do today?  What will you do today?

Who will help them?

Recently I have been flooded with needs from people in our community - my friends and fellow citizens who struggle with the pain of poverty.  The needs range from dental care, help with rent, electricity about to be shut off, car repairs, the need for shoes, baby clothes... and the list goes on.  Each time I hear about another need, i get overwhelmed.  What do we do to help our neighbors and friends?

Today, I drove around and handed out fruits and vegetables from a local market.  Its not much but its a little help.  My heart was broken as I delivered to one family.  They are a family who has 6 kids.  Both parents lost their jobs.  Years ago when things were going well they had bought a camper to get away to campgrounds and relax.  Today they live in that camper.  No work, no income, no hope.  I just do not know how they do it.

My heart is broken for them.  My heart is broken for all my friends who struggle with poverty.  

What am I willing to sacrifice to help? What are you willing to sacrifice to lend a helping hand?

Theology of Suffering

Have you ever wondered why Jesus waited 4 days to go see Mary and Martha when Lazarus was dead (John 11)?  Have you ever wondered why he didn't go when Lazarus was sick and keep him from dying?  Ever wondered why a God would have a man born blind just so He could heal him and get the credit (see John 9)?  Ever wondered why a baby is born into this world just to die a few weeks later by a horrible disease?

It seems from these examples, examples all through Scripture, and many from my life and the lives of my friends that suffering happens for reasons we cannot comprehend.  My thoughts are not so much as to why things happen but how our "American Christianity" upbringing affects how we react.

When tragedy strikes, I hear people say things like:

 "When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade."
"There is a silver lining behind every cloud."
"Some day you will understand why God allowed this"
"All things work together for God"
... and many more positive statements like these.

But what about when you can't make anything from the lemon, and it doesn't work out for good, and you never understand or know why?  Many times I wish that the last chapter of the book of Job in the Bible was never written.

As Americans, we do not like pain.  As Americans, our belief in God requires God to make things work out or make sense.  As I think through my theology of suffering I am struck with the fact that my trust or belief in God must be grounded on his sovereignty to do what he wants without owing me an explanation.  Perhaps the only things I can really expect is his strength, peace, and in the end He wins (and so do I).

How is your theology of suffering affected by your church or culture?

Joe's 22nd Birthday - spent in Prison

Well, today my son Joe is 22 years old. We have had him for 16 years. We got Joe when he was 5 years old . He was a timid kid who was afraid of everything. I remember when we got him and took him to the park. He was afraid to jump off the park bench. Joe had been sexually, physically, and emotionally abused by his birth parents and gparents (they are not worthy to be called “grand” parents). This trauma was very evident to us early on. However, Joe seemed to thrive in a home where he was loved and cared for. Eventually, four of his other siblings joined our home and were adopted as well by my wife and me.

While he never had many friends, Joe seemed to hold his own in public school. He graduated with fairly decent grades and enrolled in a business school. His desire was always to be in business. From the time he was a kid he would play Monopoly by himself. The joke was always who would win!

Then when Joe enrolled into business school we began to discover that he didn’t have the ability to make wise decisions — mostly in the financial area. He left business school and enrolled in bible college for a year. During this time we had Joe tested by a psychologist and discovered that Joe had some post traumatic stress disorder. We also discovered that due to Joe’s abuse as a child, his brain never fully developed (he had shaking baby syndrome and had Dandy Walker’s syndrome). Therefore we found out that he reasoned at a 4th grade level. He had no real ability to do deductive reasoning.

About this same time, Joe’s world collapsed. He got himself in legal trouble and was found guilty by a jury and was given 20 years probation. He had exposed himself to two minor girls and was found guilty of attempted rape. Less than a year after this probation Joe made another poor choice and found himself guilty of another crime. He has tried to steal a car from a lady. Because of his first offense, he was charged with attempted rape again. This was based on what the detective coerced out him and not based on anything he did or said to the woman. Joe pleaded no contest and today he is in prison with a 20-50 year sentence.

Today, our son, turns 22 years old and is “celebrating” his birthday. It is also his one year anniversary of his going to prison for it happened last year the eve of his birthday. Today, we grieve with him because he is alone struggling with the lack of ability to process all this and struggling emotionally knowing that, except for a few who see Joe as we see Joe, he is alone and seen this day as scary monster who will most likely be locked up the rest of his life.

Today I am reminded of how God felt when Jesus was ridiculed and beaten as he journeyed to the cross. There is nothing I can do but to sit back and watch it all unfold. Joe has been nailed to his cross and nothing will take him down from it. Of course, unlike Jesus, Joe will not be delivered in three days, three years, or even three decades.

And for those of you who think it is blasphemes for me to equate me with God and Joe with Jesus, get over it. I am tired of people, especially Christians, who allow judgement to triumph over mercy. Go read James 2:13.

It is a sad day. God is good and I will enjoy my sadness knowing that it could always be worse. Even this day, Diane and her children might lose their father to this battle with cancer and a failing heart.